Happy Birthday....

I decided not to do a Hapoy Birthday post for Joshua's 2nd birthday. I'm not sure why actually. I was a mess that day I tried to distract myself. Went to the Christmas parade. Out to lunch with my family. Then bought a ballon and took it to the cematery. I like it there. It's peacful. I'm so glad it was chosen for him. I had nothing to do with it but I couldn't have picked a better spot if I tried. It's not super crowded, there are a few other children near by. Including my niece. But I'm mostly alone when I go. Gives me time to just be. The 13th I had time to just sit and be. I talked to him about all kinds of things. Kissed his name and left. I don't feel as bad as I use to when I leave there. But I still feel as if I am leaving apart of me there. I don't think that will ever go away.