Triggers... this post is about my living children.Some people may find my heading going into this post a little weird. However it is something we in the baby loss community understand. The need of a warning that what you are about to read is about a living child. If you don't understand that is ok, that just means you are incredibly lucky.
My KidsI have five living children. Most everyone who reads the blog knows that already. Some of them came into the world early and survived their premature births. Some are so healthy its scary. They are all so special in many different ways.
A Freak AccidentOn Saturday morning we got up early and went to the church, we were having a Dad and Daughter Fishing Trip and a Mother Son pancake breakfast. We had a great time. Later that afternoon we took the kids back to the church to play on the ball field. Its something we have done before when they want to go hit some balls, they all have a love for sports so we hit balls in the back yard, but we have lost about 6 in the ditch that runs behind our house since we have had so much rain, when one falls in there it gets swept away. So we decided just to go to the ball field instead.
Landon is 7 years old, he has just finished the 1st grade and loves to play sports. He was on the pitchers mound, the ball was hit and it was a line drive. Landon is also slightly ADD and turned his head to look at something. When he did the ball hit him in the head. On the right side. Turning his head was very dangerous. Its one reason ball players have to be so focused. Eyes on the ball at all times. Know where that ball is coming to. It may have also saved him. I do not think he would have been able to catch that ball even had he been paying attention. I am not sure if he could have moved fast enough if he would have seen it coming. What I do know is that if that ball would have hit him in the face or front of the head, things would be much worst than they are now.
I say that typing this out from the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, watching my baby sleep, hooked to monitors and an IV and a blood pressure cuff.
From Saturday to MondaySaturday when we arrived at the hospital we were separated from Landon. There was a team of 12 or so doctors waiting on us. We went to fill out the paper work. I am convinced that the paper work it to take you mind away from the fact that they just took your baby from you and you have no idea what is going on. I hope one day they learn that doesn't work on moms like me. They handed me my insurance card and I asked to be taken to my child. I was told I would have to wait. I immediately asked why and then asked to speak with the charge nurse. The charge nurse, explained that Landon was in CT and when he got back from his scan she would come find me, That I did understand and I knew she would have no trouble finding me, because I wasn't moving from that spot. (she did however tell me to stay close by... um ok). We were taken back to see him and he was sleeping, was hooked to a lot of monitors and looked like he was hurting. The doctor came in and said that he had looked at the scan and he did have a bad fracture. The surgeon would look at the scan and decide if he needed surgery on his skull and brain. That was a long 20 minutes. They decided he didn't need emergency surgery and that he was stable enough to be moved down the road to the children's hospital. We were separated again for more paper work, I got very annoyed because he was in the PICU and that is a locked unit, so there was no way to get in until they came to get me. It took about 30 minutes. He looked so little and helpless laying in that big PICU bed with all the hook ups on him. Jason and I let my parents go see him, his aunts, and his sister and her boyfriend since they were old enough. The PICU has an age requirement of 14, so Maddie is the only one old enough to go back. Jason went home for a little while for a shower and a nap. At 230 am on Sunday morning when I was alone in the room with Landon and it was all quite, it hit me. My baby could have died.
Sunday at 4am the PICU doctor came in along with the brain surgeon. They agreed he needed a follow up scan and we would go from there. They listed his status and Critical. At 6 am Jason was back at 730, he was having his CT scan. It was a very long day of, not knowing what was happening. Our Pastor and Children's Pastor came and prayed with us. That afternoon the Surgeons decided he would not need surgery, The bleeding on his brain had stopped and he was left with some bruising on the brain, and a very extensive fracture, forming a star on one side where the ball hit and running across his forehead. They told us he was still in very serious condition. The kids were upset that they couldn't see him. I went home and got some clothes and took a shower. Jason left at 10 to go home with the other kids. It was another long night, the nurses came in every hour to check his eyes and wake him up to ask him his name.
Monday at 8am, Jason was back, he made sure our oldest son Collin made it to camp and then the other kids were with my mom. Landon had been awake for about 30 minutes before falling back to sleep. Lights hurt his eyes, tv hurts his head, sound hurt everything. So we sit and rub his head and feet and legs, to let him know that we are here and that we love him and that we will not leave. The hospital has 2 family rooms with washer and dryers. Snacks and drinks, I had spilled some coffee so I had to wash my clothes. Jason went and got us some lunch. Landon continued to make improvements in waking up and talking to us. He kept down some peach slices and his STATS were great so they discharged him from PICU to the peds floor. That's a big step and one closer to going home. He shares a nurse with 4 other kids instead of the one on one he had in the PICU and that ok cause either Jason on I will be with him. His face started to swell but they say that is normal. He is tired and they say that he is healing.
Tomorrow is Tuesday and we are going to try walking. They have said to go home, he has to eat and take oral pain meds with out throwing up. We will be here a few more days.
Landon will have to be careful, no sports for a year. Follow ups with a few doctors and lots of rest for the next 6 months. I am not sure how we are going to deal with School and PE yet, I have a little bit of time before I have to figure all of that out.