Acting 101

I was never really interested in becoming a star. I know I liked to sing and dance when I was little. But I never wanted to act. Now I put on a show an act everyday. 

Every morning when I get up, I don't want to, but I don't have a choice. I drag myself out of bed and take a shower. Washing the tears from the night before away with the new ones that are forming. The rest of the day is like a balancing act of emotions. Breakfast... Don't cry.... Cleaning.... Hide tears ..... Lunch ...... Smile..... Laugh..... Don't cry ...... Cleaning.... More tears ....  Play with the kids ...... Don't think.... Don't cry ...... Don't cry...... Bath time..... Don't think just do...... Dinner.... Blame crying on onions...... Movie ...... Blame crying on sad part or really funny part. Bed time.... Made it through another day with out you. Wonder how much longer I can smile. Wonder how it's possible to hurt so much and still live. Try not to wonder who you would be now and fail at that so more tears. 

.......... Repeat everyday.