The list

There are so many things that have  become hard to do over the past couple years. Sometimes I can avoid them or ignore them. Other times they hit me in face unexpectedly. 

1. Making shopping list- for over a year I've been winging my shopping and forgetting much needed supplies. The night my water with Hope broke I was making a huge shopping list and clipping coupons. I don't clip coupons anymore. 

2. Driving. I should be driving a huge van or SUV. just for the car seat. I drive a car..... I don't want to be faced with empty seats where my children should be. 

3. Newborns & Kids who are the ages my kids should be. (So basically any under 2)  There are very few babies I am comfortable holding. I do not apologize for that. 

4. Laughter. This one is so hard. I'm happy and feel guilty about it. I should just lay in bed all day. And ya know what. There are some days that I don't get out of the bed at all. And that is ok. But I have to remind myself that being happy and laughing is ok and I am not doing anything wrong, by laughing. 

5. Baby Shampoo. I don't know what it is about the smell of baby shampoo that makes me crave more and then cry but it does.