Monday, January 6, 2014


I've written a lot about sleep. Or the lack of, well it seems like I have anyway.

I don't sleep a lot. When I do I dream a lot. I hate my dreams. They are wonderful dreams until I wake up and find myself back in hell and that my dreams were just that a dream. 

Last night my dog could have died. If I had went ahead with the plans that I had earlier that day. She would have died. I wouldn't have been there to beat 2 pit bulls off of her. (I am not against all out bulls, or bulls my dog is a Boxer). I need a new mop now by the way I broke the Handel of mine on one of the hits. They finally let go growled and barked at me. I had a moment of fear and then hit the dog again. I was not going to be attacked In my own back yard from a dog that dug under my fence. No no that was not happening. I got pissed. And then remembered my fur baby had limped into the house. I kept an eye on the dogs and backed into the house. I wasn't alone my sister and oldest son was with me. 

I went into the house to find my dog layed against the door way to the bedroom. I could see blood so I ran and got a towel from the bathroom. Her front paw was dripping and I covered it with the towel I was shaking and when I saw how much blood there was I cried. I just knew she was going to die right there on the floor. She wouldn't walk so I could get a better look. So we called the vet who gave us the number to the ped ER. 3hrs, 1 pain shot and 136$ later we left there with out dog headed to Jason's sisters house. She is a vet nurse and we wanted her to give it to us real. We felt like the ER was not being real with us. Demanded 610$ that night and then another 600 Monday. Jason's sister said it was because they are an ER. We got trixie to them at 1245 and Jason and his sister took her to the clinic. 30 mins later they came back to the house. She had called the main vet and then have trixie some better pain meds, Antibiotics and an IV. She said she expected worse, but couldn't tell us how bad it was. She was still dripping blood. 

I had no choice but to sleep it was 230am. I was slowly creeping on 24 hrs of being awake. The coffee was almost gone. I was sleepy and didn't even need a sleep aid. I feel right to sleep. However my dreams were anything but sweet. They were filled with me trying to keep everything alive. My babies. Pets. Flowers. Everything I touched eventually died. I was glad to wake up from that dream. 

Waking up we were told that Trixie was not as bad as we had thought. She was really beat up, but they are pretty sure she's going to be ok. As long as there is no infection that sets up in her then there is no reason she shouldn't make a full recovery. The biggest thing working against her right now is her age. She's over 10 years old. That's right we have had her longer than 2 of our kids and one was a month old when we got her. I sighed with relief. Maybe everything I touch doesn't die. Or at least not today.  

Tonight though I thought I was going to go to sleep and I did for a minute or two. Maybe it was an hour. Then I was in the back yard and pregnant and the dogs were coming through the fence and my dog was there ready to defend me and my unborn children. I woke up because Haleigh needed more fever reducer. But I didn't want to finish that dream anyway. Some dreams aren't worth the ending. 

1 comment: