Thursday, July 3, 2014

Who is 1 in 4

Statistics say that 1 in 4 women will have a pregnancy loss in the 2nd or 3rd trimester.
When I was apart of an online community for women due in May when I was pregnant with Joshua I always made sure I posted how sorry I was when someone lost their baby early. But in the back if my head I was thinking. If it's them then it's not me. When I entered into my 2nd trimester and since I had never had a loss that far before I just "knew" I would be ok. When the other ladies would post about losing babies I was again very sorry but I didn't get it at all. Not really. Then it was me. And I found out it happens to 1 in 4 women. So when I found out I was pregnant with my girls, made it past the first 12 weeks, then I saw were there were some ladies with later losses and I had 2 thoughts. 1. It's already happened to me so it won't again. And 2. If it's happening to them it won't be me this time. I'm not 1 in 4 twice.... Then I was. 

So when my sister got pregnant I (as always) found out when her baby would be viable (24ish weeks). And prayed she make it just that far. Every day after that mark would be a great joy. I also had no fear she would have a loss like mine. I mean if it's truly 1 in 4 and in our immediate family there are 4 women than I am the 1. No one else just me. I am the 1 in 4. We can't both be the 1 in 4. So when she made it to 12 weeks I knew she would be fine. 

I was wrong. 

I don't know when the day was when numbers were pulled for this 1 in 4 but apparently something went wrong and we both pulled a 1. 

I wish I was the only one that knew this pain. I wish the bond I have with my sister I didn't have. I wish... I wish... I wish. 

I don't know the answers to what happens next all I know is what happens now. And now we love each other through our pain and try to let those who love us in enough to help us when we can't help our selves. 

No comments:

Post a Comment