5 weeks

If I was to go by the first due date I was given I would be due in just 5 weeks. It's so hard to think of because he would be over 5 pounds and healthy by now. Since my ultrasound pushed my due date back a bit I have a little longer. But it's not any easier. By the time the next 5 weeks are over heaven will have had my son longer than I did. It sucks and it hurts.

I had to give my mom the swing I bought for him. I didn't really want to, but honestly I didn't have anywhere too it it that I would not see it everyday. I had it in the closet and every time I went In there I wanted to sink and cry. So I put it in the truck today and I took it with all the other yard sale stuff to my mothers house. It was hard and I made Jason unload it. I still have his other things they are small and easy to hide away. Tucked at the tip of my closet, just waiting.

I'm hoping to have lost of distractions this May. With softball. School ending and summer coming. But I know that I should have my baby. He should be here all small and squirmy. I miss him.