Life is hard. Life is unfair.
I went to church today. I love going. I feel good when I'm there. I have this overwhelming feeling that God is there and hearing me and liking what he sees there. Sometimes it's an overwhelming feeling of love being poured out of me to God.
I went to Sunday school this morning. First time at this church. The other times I was in a class called growth track. It's. new member class. I only went to half if them and since Jason is signed up for April we are going to restart the classes together.
So to Sunday school I went. I had a good time. I learned a couple things. It wasn't fake. But there were 2 three month old babies and I just wanted to run. I know if he would have been born healthy he wouldn't be 3 months old but I did have Joshua 3 months ago. It's so hard. I didn't expect any babies to be in my Sunday school class. So I will be going to a different one. I just can't handle seeing the smiling, cooing, happiness of these moms and babies, every Sunday. Luckily today both babies were girls.
We made our first in town, in personal donation of Teeny Tear diapers and our first ever donation of Joshua's Gift blankets. It went really well. I had rescheduled about 4 times and it was just to hard some days. But last Friday I was ready. As we were driving I didn't know if I'd be able to get out of the car, but I did and I decided to not think about I was going to labor and delivery but instead think as I was just going for a walk. When I got into the hospital I was thinking. I'm just finding an elevator. I was doing great until we were at the doors and I kinda froze. The manager was coming into the unit though and asked what we needed. All I said before the tears flowed was "a donation". She hugged me and took me back into the brake room. I was able to explain what the diapers were for and the blankets. They were so excited to get them. And I gave them my information to contact me when they need more and they are going to put it in the health magazine they put out 4 times a year. I was also asked to set up and man a table at the Baby Rest ceremony in October. To give diapers to the parents who didn't get one. It's a little overwhelming but also very exciting. All the area hospitals will be there so I'm hopeful that they hospitals will want these and will allow us to donate to them as well.