A visit to the Dr

I had an appointment with my OBGYN today. Yes I'm fine, I was riden with anxiety before my appointment though, last time I was there was not a pleasant memory for me. So I was dreading a repeat of that day. To my surprise I was the last appointment of the day. At 3pm. There were no hugely pregnant women there. There was not loud woman waving her twin ultrasound pictures in my face. It was just me in a room waiting. I was thankful for that.

I have to say. I'm sure somewhere in my chart everything I've ever said to my OB is written down. However, he's a great doctor. He was not only concerned with how my physical healing was going, but also the emotional side. We talked a little about my feelings. He asked about the kids and Jason. He asked about Haleigh and our upcoming trip to Birmingham. He doesn't have to talk to me. He could just take care of what I'm there for and send me on my way. But that's not the kind of dr he is. I believe he cares. I believe he really wanted to know how we all were, so he asked. 

Everything went good physically and otherwise. 

I made it through an appointment without crying. That's a first since losing Joshua almost a year ago. I did however cry in the car after. 

Then I did something else. Something I had been thinking of doing. I bought a baby shower gift all on my own. For a dear friend who is having a rainbow baby in January. It was hard buying a baby gift for a baby girl who is due days from when the girls were due. But it was a step I needed to take. A step I wasn't ready for yesterday, but was today. I didn't go to the baby store, but I did buy a baby gift. And if you are a baby loss mom you know how huge that step is. I am very proud I was able to do that all by myself.