Aurbree Faith and Amelia Hope.
I can't believe it's been11 weeks, since they were born. 11 weeks without them. Time is a strange concept to me now. It seems time doesn't move the way it use to. The 11 weeks since the girls were born feels like it was a really long time ago, but at the same time I can see their perfect faces and tiny hands in mine and it's like it was yesterday.
It is the same with Johua, 45 weeks. Almost a year. I can't believe I've been without him so long. I miss him. I wonder what his temperament would have been. I believe he would have been such a sweet baby. I sometime have a hard time remembering how long it's been because I feel like there is no way it's been almost a year. How did time pass so fast. At the same time it feels like that day was such a long time ago and so many things have changed.
I wish I could change the way things turned out with my babies. But I know there is not. If there had been a way to save them I would have done it. If I could have held in these 11 weeks with the girls they would have a great chance at life now. Being 27weeks they would weigh about 3 pounds each. But it will never be. Wasn't meant for me. One day I will understand. One day this will make since. Until that day I will count the time and remember how sweet the time I did have with them was. How heart crushing the time I don't have with them is. And long for a time when I will be with them again.