I am a more protective dare I say hovering mother. There were days that I would let my children play across the street for half the day. Now they are lucky to go for an hour. I just cant not make them check in. Something may happen and I wont know because I didnt check. I didnt make them check in so I didnt know for what could be hours. I have a hard time letting my oldest who is 15 go anywhere. What if something happens to her. I let her go and something happens its my fought, so I keep them all close, where I can watch them and know they are safe. A little over board? Maybe so. However They are safe.
I am a more distant wife. Its hard. its a lot of work. Jason and I grieve very differently. I am loud. I will not let the world around me go on like my children were not apart of it. They may not have been here very long, but they were here. And he doesn't care that I do that. But he is quite about them. Sometimes I think he doesn't want to talk about them, I love to talk about them. And I do.
My other relationships have changed as well. I cant seem to hold much of a conversation. Its not that I am not listening or that I am not interested in what people are saying, its that I have nothing to talk about, not really. So I just listen. And sometimes.... A lot of times I just want to be alone. I do let people in and I dont feel like I shut people out, but there are times I wish I could just sleep instead of being anything else. Maybe one day I will be able to get back to more involved relationships, as the new me of course.