Christmas 2012 is coming to a close and it has been a really sad day. The weather is even dark.
Madalyn, Collin, Aden, Landon, and Haleigh had a great day and I can only imagine how wonderful Joshua's day was. Spending Jesus' birthday with him in heaven.
My day here on earth was just hard . I want my baby back and I know I can never have him hear in earth and I don't know how many more Christmas I am going to spend here without him.
I went to see him today at the cemetery and it was cold and windy there so we didn't stay very long. I bought a baby's first Christmas hat for him and when I got there I saw that my mother had gotten an angel and put it out there for him so I put the hat on the angles head. It was a goo d fit. I had all the kids with me and some how I kept it all together and didn't have a complete brake down. We left there and went to my sisters house to celebrate Christmas with my family. I would have really liked to go home and to bed but I managed to go and smile and even eat.
I'm thankful I have such a thoughtful family. But nothing can take this pain away. I know I'm suppose to learn something from this I am suppose to do something, something is suppose to come of this but I'm just not sure what it is.