A Month

I can't believe it's been a month since my water with Hope started to leak. August 5th, around 11 pm. I of course called the on call OB, but I couldn't really tell what was going on. The leak was so slow, the only reason it wasn't more was because Faith was blocking the water from leaking out. I was admitted into the hospital the next afternoon. That was a month ago. That week I spend wondering if my girls would make it was so long. Yet the month since has went by so fast. I would be coming up on Viability now, and I would be getting ready to go into the hospital, praying they would be ok. Instead I'm trying to find a way to be ok. I'm trying to find a way to cope. Trying to hold my life together, to not let anything else fall apart. I am trying, although sometimes it feels like I am failing. My children worry about things they shouldn't... Like "is mom ok" and "is mom in a good mood today"..... Mom should always be ok, and always in a good mood. I wish they were too young to remember what we are going through right now, but they are all old enough that they won't forget this.