I went to my OB and the Hospital today for pre-op. The waiting room was less crowded but there were still happily pregnant women there. There was one who found out she's having twins, the ultrasound tech said this was the 4th set of twins she has seen this week. Well thats nice for them huh?!? Any way I may see if there is a day or time that they only see non-pregnant women. I mean I can dream right?!
I had my Labs done and passed, my Iron levels had to be 10.9 or higher mine was an 11. Low end of normal, but normal enough for surgery. My nurse asked me if I was sure. I told her I made this decision with my head not my heart. My head is sure. I could tell she had never heard that answer before, because she just looked at me for a moment and then said ok. I think she was confused. I was then sent to the hospital, they got all my information in their computers and then I was sent to talk to the pre-op nurse. It was the same one I talked to on the phone Tuesday. She was really nice. One of the questions they asked on the phone was "When was your last period?" I told her I didn't know that I had delivered 5 weeks ago and not had a period yet. I could tell she was smiling and asked if I had a Boy or Girl. In one long sentence I stated, "Twin girls, they were early and didn't make it, I haven't had a period." She was quite for a moment and then said she was so sorry, and she didn't mean to upset me. I told her I knew she didnt know and had to ask those questions and it was ok. We then moved on. Today she asked me if I had any reservations about having the tubal, I had Joshua, Faith and Hope at this hospital and she had my chart so she knew now what I have been through. I told her I have 5 children who are heart broken, I told her "this choice was one we made with our heads, not our hearts" She just looked at me with sympathy, said ok and gave me the information I needed. told me all my labs look good and what time to be at the hospital on Monday, and she would see me then. And that was it. I plan on using the same answer if anyone else asks me on monday if this is what I want, or if I am sure. My answer is, We made this choice with our heads not our hearts. My heart will always be broken. There is no way to fix it, or to make it whole, there are 3 parts of it missing.