I decided to turn in the devotional to the anger chapter. I still have a lot of anger I've learned that guilt is often self directed anger. And yes I am angry at myself too. Thinking I could have done something different although I did everything I could. So I probably need white out for the page with the questions. Your suppose to write God a letter and tell him why you are angry. I wrong " I'm just Freaking Pissed off" yeah I'm sure that's not what was meant to be written there. But it's how I feel.
I am trying to deal with all the anger. I'm not sure I really know how though. I have tried to just not be angry and that makes me even more just mad. My other book says that if you find yourself stuck in a stage of grief you may need to talk to a professional. Reading that mad me mad. But what else is really new I was already mad. I'm not really sure 3 weeks of being in anger is what one would call stuck. And since grief has no time time how does one know they are stuck? Needless to say my devotional didn't go well. And I just quit.
I so start 2 new small groups this week. Sunday begins the new Sunday School season I'm excited about getting back into Sunday school. It's been a while. Then on Wednesday the new women's study starts. I'm excited for that too. I'm hoping through these two small groups to form closer relationships with others in my church.
I am a little disappointed that I know starting out I will miss the 3rd week of both due to my scheduled surgery. I will have the books though and can read through so I'm not behind. I shouldn't miss anymore than the one week though. And I may actually feel ok to go on Sunday seeing as my surgery is on a Monday. I guess I will just have to see.
I'm really hoping these small groups can help me with some of my anger issues.