Today

I got mail today. So much that the mail man came and knocked on the door. Now normal people can have someone knock on a door and its ok. Buy first if all I could see the mail man and was headed for the door. He smiled at me so I know he saw me. Then he knocked. That sent the dogs barking and to the door. I had to wrangle them into the bedroom to get the mail. It took a good 10 minutes.

Anyway 

I made a Shutterfly book. I got it free as a "congratulations on the birth of your new baby" gift, in an email. I filled it with pictures of Joshua, Faith, and Hope. It's a beautiful book. I'm glad I took the time to do that. Even though it was not easy to put together it helped me a little I think. 

I also got the baby books I ordered the girls. They are a little different from Joshua's. they have been updated a little to include some pomes and places to write about what we would like our babies to know about us. With that since they were from Amazon I also ordered the book "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" it's a good book so far. I am on chapter 2. It's already confirmed for me that I am not crazy and that I am grieving the right way for me because there is no wrong way. That was huge for me 

I also got wooded diaper patterns. So much better than the printed ones we have been using. I actually won them. And when I opened the package I smelled saw dust. That smell is the smell of my grandfather the smell of my childhood spend with him building things and cutting wood. He's with my babies and that was a sign from him. I know it was.