I have been distracted all day today. For reasons I didn't know. I almost didn't even go to church and I missed Sunday school. I didn't even try hard enough to get the kids to go with me. So all but Haleigh stayed home.
I really liked church today. It actually went along with my post yesterday. It was about loving each other the way God loves us, forgiving and loving more. It really hit home.
I went to the cemetery. And they have added dirt on top then moved the sod back. My parents put out some Mardi Gras beads out there and someone had added some flowers. I rarely buy flowers to put out there. I have actually only done it once.
I buy flowers for my table instead. I have never been the flower type of girl I never saw a point in them. They just die any way. After Joshua's service I had flowers on my table and 2 plants to take care of. They are a great reminder. So when the flowers on the table died 3 weeks later ( I took great care of them ) I bought more. And so on. They last about 2 weeks, and I love seeing them every morning. The plants are thriving and I love it. I bought more today. Picking red and purple ones.
I then came home where I watched Peter Pan with Haleigh and played a game with her.
As I was starting dinner I checked Madalyn ball schedule for a date we had something planned. And I realized its the 10th. Almost the 13th. Almost 2 months. I think that's what I was so off today. I'm realizing if he was born now he would have lived. I would be 28 weeks only 12 weeks until my due date. How am I ever going to get through the first week of May.