We cooked a big breakfast then played with the new toys. Built a basket ball goal with the new set. Adjusted the set of a bike. Adjusted the bars of a scooter. Tried on new clothes and shoes. Took a bunch of pictures. We cooked out part of lunch/dinner. Took showers, put on new clothes and headed to my sisters house. We took all the stuff there and then headed to the cemetery.
I have a live hate relationship with the cemetery. I love going and feel close to my babies while I am there. I know they aren't really there but I still feel closer to them there. Maybe it's because I am focused on just them. I then hate it there. I can't see them. I can't feel them. I can't have them. I miss them so much and I know I can't have them. I know that while this is Joshua's 2nd Christmas in heaven it's the girls first and there will be many many more to come that we celebrate without them and I don't want to. I want them here I don't want to have to go to the cemetery to tell them merry Christmas. It sucks more than anything else I can ever imagine.
The picture below was taken last night. The round glow to the right on my oldest sons head was only on this picture and no others. I believe it's my babies. All three of them.
Merry Christmas from earth to Heaven.