It's been a full month today that Joshua has been gone. He wasn't even here but for a few minutes and then we got to spend a few hours with him before we said goodbye forever. It's so unfair, babies should not die its not natural. I just want to kiss his perfect little face today. I miss feeling him kick and seeing my belly grow. I wasn't even that big I didn't have time to get uncomfortably pregnant before he was born.
I would be 24 weeks now. That's the start of viability. If I could have held on until now he'd have a real shot at living. If my water would have broken today instead of a month ago Joshua would have had a chance. I just don't understand. I miss him so much.
We took him some purple flowers today and moved all the leaves off the grass. That's all there is left to do. It's just not fair.